Real Name:Shane Nathaniel Cross
Super Hero/Villain/Renegade/etc Name:four swords of hell
Title:
Alignment:renegade
Age:23
Gender:male
Race:caucasian
Hair:black
Eyes:green
Height:6,3
Weight:157

Costume Description/Image: Black jean shorts with a heart chain going from both front pockets to both back pockets. A tight black sleeveless shirt. Wears a tag with a cross in one ear and a heart chain with wings locket with a picture of his beloved Elisia. Fingerless black gloves.

Personality: Generally up beat but has a problem controlling his temper.. Easily aggravated which causes him to lose control of his powers. He can't stand others who put people down.

History: orphaned at a young age by his mother he spent three years being bullied about his small frame. At the age of five he started fighting back,he may not have been very strong but he could take more punches than he gave them time to throw. Then at the age of ten he took real fighting lessons, his ability to take punishment made up for his lack os being able to dish it out. He discovered his power seven years later as he watched a huge man kill his girlfriend Elisia. Never before hand he wanted to kill or hurt anyone so much. The thought of crushing the mans head rushed to his and in a sudden flare of a headache he watched the mans head implode on its self. For five years he has trained to master his power and now he wants to use it to protect everyone he can because he doesn't want anyone else to suffer what he went through. .

Powers: born with them.telekinetically controls four swords as main weapons but can pick up any thing to throw. Always keeps one sword by him in case his enemies get to close. Has a hard time controlling full power but at max output can turn coals to diamonds with telekinetic pressure. also keeps telekinetic energy wrapped around him to cushion blows further.

Power Grid:
STR: 2
SPD: 2
END: 3
INT:5
EP: 6
FS: 4

Character Image/Description: Spikey slicked back black hair with eyes greener than emeralds that shine brighter when he uses his powers. Light complected does not have very tan skin.

Roleplay Sample: "Hired to take down a rogue military officer huh." He said looking at his new contract. He was to take down an officer using his weapons to control a town. " Well that shouldn't take long." he said as he left the table he was sitting at. He put on his leather jacket and left heading to where he parked his motorcycle. He straddled it and turned the key. He loved feeling her purr as much as he loved feeling the wind. He took off without bothering to put on a helmet,not that he owned one he loved the feel of the wind ripping through his spiky black hair.

Interesting RP sample.. though considering you don't know Pain yet.. this is weird.. why would you use a sample like this?

With his intelligence at one, isn't it odd that he would know that he could turn diamonds into coal and vice versa? He needs to be a bit smarter to understand the concept of changing matter into other matters..


As for joining Thrones? You need to be completely approved, and have RPed with someone on this forum before I can even consider accepting you.. Let's see if you can fix this app up, hm, darling?

yes mam but as for the pain part all he knows is pains rep.

Hate to critic your work but, ehem.

Your personality seems contradictory. As for your powers, telekinesis is fine and all. However, I think it's a intellect related power, but I might be wrong. So consider beefing up your intelligence. As for your history, it doesn't say how he got his powers. Now, you don't need anything special. Just say he was born with them or something. Your app will look a lot better if we know how his powers were obtained.

Last thing is, your app seems to have a lot to do with Pain. Now, again it;s fine, but could you explain a bit why?

Sorry if it seems like I'm being mean or anything, but I am just trying to help everyone be the best they can be.

P.S. That thread you have up, a friend of pain? You should probably wait until your app is approved before posting in it again. because unless your app is approved, your technically rping a non existent character. And instead of making multiple posts, just condense them all into one. It makes your OP longer and makes the whole thread look more appetizing. Hope I could help.

sorry new to rp sites first one

Thats fine, Just offering some help and all. Best you can be and all that

I've read over the application, and just about everything seems fine. Your personality and history could use some work but it's acceptable. It looks like you understood the powergrid well, theres just one thing your gonna have to add. In your powers, you stated that you have four swords. If you want to use items, gadgets, or anything like them you're gonna have to make a item application, explain the items specific abilities, and how it looks, other wise you cannot use them while roleplaying. Since it wouldn't make any sense for your swords to be powered by your EP, they have to be powered by your intellect. You can control the swords with telekinisis, and use them from a distance, but it's actual durability would be based off your INT (4).

Everything checks out now, Approved and Moved.

Trashed by request